Mother Wound, Children’s Inner Wounds Due to Their Relationship with Mother

Mother Wound, Children's Inner Wounds Due to Their Relationship with Mother — Mother Wound, Children’s Inner Wounds Due to Their Relationship with Mother. As many have said, the relationship between mother and child is generally very close, both physically and mentally.

Therefore, the need for a mother figure in a child’s life is very important. Without the presence of a mother figure or not getting the mother’s attention even if the figure is present, the child can suffer from mother wound. What is mother wound? Check out the full review below.

What is mother wound?

Mother wound is a counseling term to describe conditions that arise as a result of a mother’s lack of affection for her child.

This condition is more common in girls, but can also occur in boys.

Mother’s wound can affect the child’s growth and development process, even until he is an adult.

Launching from Psychoanalysis, an expert named Donald Winnicott believes that a child’s identity is formed from the relationship between himself and his mother.

What causes a mother’s wound?

Mother wound occurs when a child feels that he or she does not receive the emotional support he or she needs from a mother.

This can happen to anyone in a different family environment.

Mother wounds may be more at risk in families with mothers who have personality or mental disorders, such as:

  • alcohol addiction,
  • drug addiction, or
  • untreated mental disorders.

Even so, this condition can also be experienced by children whose mothers are healthy and fulfill the child’s physical needs, such as feeding and interacting well.

It’s just that the mother may not show love or give attention that is also needed by the child in addition to the physical needs above.

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In these conditions, the child may feel a lack of closeness or even distance from his mother so that his emotional needs are not met properly.

What are the risk factors for mother wound?

There are several factors in the mother that can increase the risk of mother wound in children, including the following.

  • Only meet the physical needs of children without providing love, care, and protection to children.
  • Does not show empathy for the emotions children are experiencing or help them regulate them.
  • Forbid children to show negative emotions that are being experienced.
  • Very fond of criticizing children.
  • Expects the child to support the mother’s physical and emotional needs.
  • Rarely spend time with children, for example because they are too busy working or doing other activities.
  • Experiencing physical or emotional abuse and not dealing with it so that you are unable to love and care for your child.

Although it is not an inherited condition, children who have a mother wound are also more at risk of inheriting the same condition to their offspring.

In addition, it is believed that mother wounds are more vulnerable to be experienced by women who live in environments with strong patriarchal values.

Patriarchy itself is a social system in which men have the highest power.

What are the signs and symptoms of a mother wound in a child?

Mother wound can be characterized by the interaction between mother and child. These signs include the following.

  • The child does not feel emotional closeness to the mother.
  • The child is hesitant to seek security and comfort from the mother.
  • Children always try to be perfect to seek love from the mother.
  • The child feels afraid or nervous around the mother.
  • Mother hopes that her physical and emotional needs can be met by the child.
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In addition to the signs above, mother wounds can also cause the following symptoms in children.

  • Low self-confidence.
  • Lack of emotional awareness or empathy,
  • Difficulty calming down.
  • Feeling of not having a good relationship with other people.
  • How to deal with mother wounds?

The best way to relieve a mother’s wound is to realize that negative feelings, such as anger and resentment, for the mother must be forgotten.

As a result, a child can return to peace and forgive his mother. Even though it feels heavy, there are some things you can do to help forgive your mother, including the following.

1. It’s natural to show anger

Anger sometimes needs to be shown to make emotions come out from within. You can do this by undergoing therapy or writing in a diary.

2. Loving yourself

As previously mentioned, a person’s identity can be formed from interactions with his mother.

Therefore, it is necessary to realize that there is a mother’s influence on her child’s personality at this time.

If now the child feels that he has not become the person he hoped for, the child can actually try to form a new identity without being influenced by the mother.

That way, children can more easily begin to love themselves.

3. Increase self-awareness

Without getting advice from the mother, the child may find it difficult to increase self-awareness or recognize oneself.

The best way to deal with a mother wound is to learn to recognize the emotions you are experiencing. This can be done by trying to slowly feel what is being experienced.

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By recognizing their own feelings, children will have a higher self-awareness.

4. Be a parent to yourself

If the child never feels the presence of a parent, the child can try to be a parent for himself.

The trick is to meet the needs and desires of the child.

For example, children can do or buy things they want to make themselves feel better.

5. Forgive past events

After recognizing the feelings they are experiencing and releasing them, the child can begin to try to forgive those feelings.

To be able to cause forgiveness, children can remember that being a mother is not easy, especially if the child himself has also become a mother.

That’s why, mom might make mistakes.

Try to get to know your mother well and don’t demand that she be someone else. That way, the child can understand and accept his mother better.

After successfully forgiving the mother, the child will find it easier to rebuild a better relationship with her and overcome the mother wound.

Children can try to make boundaries together with the mother regarding what each wants.

If the mother is neglectful or abusive towards her child, forgiving her may be more difficult.

In this case, the best way to do this is to seek help from others, such as group counseling or therapy with a psychologist.

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